Enterprise pick-up lines
by Fate4Destiny
Summary: The crew from Star Trek, the original series, tries to use pick up lines on you. Do they work? Reader insert


Summary: The crew from Star Trek, the original series, tries to use pick up lines on you. Do they work?

Fandom: Star Trek TOS

Pairings: most are with the reader, who can be male or female, as I include both male and female characters for the reader to be paired up with...

Warnings: implied sexual remarks. And most of these lines I took from online. McCoy's was all me though, and I think the basis to a longer story I'll write in the future. ;)

A/N: This is just some light fluffy stuff... Because I haven't seemed to write anything in the last few days.

Have fun with what I do imply though...

~XxX~

You nursed your headache until the injection made it fade away. You gave a grateful smile at Doctor McCoy, who picked up your file and glanced through it.

"It's time for your physical. Should I give it to you now?"

"Alright. I'm not on duty at the moment."

McCoy put the files down next to his tricorder and looked you over quickly.

"Then undress. Fully."

McCoy's lips curled up in a smirk as he blew some hot air on his hands to heat them up. You walked up to him, making his smile grow. You reached out and he tensed slightly in anticipation.

You then grabbed the tricorder and put it into his hands.

"As you are so fond to point out, Doctor," You breathed the word onto his lips before pulling further apart and heading towards the door. "We no longer live in the dark ages."

The door swooshed closed behind you and McCoy crossed his arms.

"At least in the dark ages it was easier to sleep with somebody..."

McCoy put the tricorder down and went back to work. The next day you were in sickbay, and when the nurse asked why you there, you had only had one word to say. "Physical."

~XxX~

"Captain, I was wondering if-"

"I have the cool sexual prowess of a Romulan? If so, then yes."

Kirk grinned at you and your words became caught in your throat. You then blinked up at your superior officer.

"You think Romulans are sexy? So maybe he was right when he said you and Spock would make a good pair... They're genetically similar, aren't they? And in personality to..."

You walked off, deep in thought. Kirk's jaw went slack as he figured out what you were implying. Any self-criticism for telling an officer below him that he thought Romulans had some good traits were washed away by your idea that he was attracted to Spock. Now that his mind connected Spock and Romulans with the same sexual, ugh, 'skill', he knew he could never look at a Romulan the same way again.

~XxX~

You sighed and rubbed your temple across from the table. You flipped through the book on translations before glancing at Uhura, who had agreed to help you work on learning a different language. Most of them seemed much too hard, and frankly, not likely for future use as an officer on a starship.

"Can we do something easier?"

"Fine. Look up 'Urkuk lu Stalga'. It's klingon."

You flipped the book before finally finding it.

"I love you baby... Since when did Klingons have pet names for each other?"

"Since when did Klingons get to be the only ones who could say that and mean it?"

~XxX~

"They say once you make love to a man with Vulcan ears on, you never go back."

You raised an eyebrow at your best friend on the starship as you two passed Spock in the hallway. Unlike your friend, you worked with him often, on the bridge and elsewhere. So when you paused right beside him, he did the same.

"Is there a problem, lieu-?"

You cut him off by quickly stepping forward and sealing your lips on his. Spock looked stunned, eyebrow arching and eyes wide. You pulled away rather quickly and turned to see McCoy with his own shocked and amused expression. You kissed the doctor to, who eagerly kissed you back. He let out a disappointed moan as you pulled away completely.

"There. I went back."

You gave a brief pant as you looked at your friend. Spock then spoke up and you glanced at him, hoping he wouldn't reprimand you.

"Lieutenant, they said once 'you make love to'. To conclude that line on a kiss alone would be illogical."

You smiled to yourself and walked towards a door.

"Then I suppose following me would be logical. And if Bones also follows to disapprove that line, it would also be logical?"

You gave them both lingering looks as you slipped into the room. Spock was never one to turn against logic. And McCoy was never one to pass up a chance to annoy Spock.

~XxX~

"I am the weapons officer."

You nodded at Chekov's point as you two left the bridge. He was still miffed about being told he made a mistake, and about his speciality. And now, he was babbling.

"I've been doing this a lot longer than that ensign. I know if a phaser would be on stun or not just by looking at one. Like yours. Your phaser is always on stun-"

Chekov instantly blushed and started stuttering an apology. You lightly put a hand against his cheek and smiled.

"I'm not sure if you would know if my phaser was set on stun, kill, or seduce. You'd have to find out yourself."

You walked down the hall by yourself as Chekov questioned it to himself.

"Seduce? That isn't a setting... Oh..."

Chekov blushed even redder as he finally figured it out. Perhaps you were right. He was somewhat slow when it came to figuring such things out. But it took no where near long enough for you to vanish from his sights. He still had ample time to catch up with you.

~XxX~

It was your first beam down assignment alone, as most of the crew was busy elsewhere. It had been a simple job on a class M planet.

When you stepped forward though, you felt that something was very, very wrong. Or in your case, very, very bare.

"Not funny, Scotty! Now beam down my clothes!"

Soon a form was beamed down before you. Not only your clothes, but also Scotty himself.

"The captain said I should come down and apologize myself. Captain's orders."

Meanwhile the captain looked at the 3D chessboard across from Spock. He had finally got some time off from his captain's duties.

~XxX~

"I just don't get why space had to be the final frontier. It's catchy and all of that, but if we are in it, is it really the final frontier?"

Sulu shrugged across from you, taking a swing of his own drink. You two had spent the last half hour or so fencing, and you wanted a quick break. But during those fencing matches, you had plenty of time to think about it.

"Well, anything could be the final frontier after we explore space. Some star, a house, even something crazy like a hat or your pants."

"Well, we do have to follow Starfleet's mottos, don't we?"

You winked at Sulu before standing up and walking to the change room. You wouldn't be able to concentrate after hearing those last two words of his. And of course since you were done fencing, it only made sense that he also went into the change room to get back into uniform. The time it took him, that, in some ways, is up to you.


End file.
